How does a woman stay motivated to remain in the workforce when, time after time, job after job, she must navigate gender and racial discrimination, sexual harassment, and even jealousy and suppression from other women in senior positions?
It’s taken me a long time to not only accept but to say with pride that I am a talented and accomplished woman. My father recognized my potential early on. As a teenager, he pushed me academically, often to my frustration. I remember summers spent traveling across boroughs to take multiple advanced math courses in a single day. At the time, I resented him for it. But looking back, I now understand he saw something exceptional in me and wanted me to reach my fullest potential.
After earning a graduate degree, I entered the workforce during one of the toughest economic periods in recent history. Unemployment was nearly 10%, and entry-level job postings required 10+ years of experience. Despite my strong academic credentials, the nonprofit sector—my area of study—had no resources to hire. My first job was as a receptionist at a private equity firm.
Thus began my journey of working my way up from the bottom. I quickly learned that grit and determination mattered as much as credentials. My work ethic didn’t go unnoticed, first by recruiters who secured me an opportunity at one of the world’s most reputable banks, and then by coworkers and leaders who recognized my capabilities. Even as an administrative assistant—arguably overqualified for the role—I excelled, meeting high-pressure demands with precision and speed.
Yet, this is where I first encountered the hostility that often comes with standing out. A female coworker, someone I had never interacted with, made her animosity clear with passive-aggressive gestures—loudly tossing trash into my wastebasket as she walked by my desk. I later learned that positive feedback from leadership about my work had triggered her insecurities. It was my first lesson in how envy and insecurity could manifest in the workplace. Though she eventually attempted to mask her hostility, the damage was done, and I knew the environment I was in wouldn’t change.
My next experience was even more harrowing. A senior leader, the CEO’s wife, actively sought to sabotage my career. Her hostility stemmed from two sources: her insecurities about her husband working around women and my decision to call out a company policy that violated state law. I later learned she lobbied senior leadership to have me placed on a performance improvement plan and fired. Thankfully, my direct managers stood by me. But the experience left me shaken, as I realized how close I had come to losing my job.
When I moved to a new role, I faced fresh challenges: overt gender and racial discrimination. My boss, uncomfortable with my direct communication style, spoke over me and made unfounded claims about my behavior. At the same time, the department head engaged in daily interactions that bordered on harassment, with inappropriate comments about my appearance and invasive questions. Male coworkers added to the discomfort with their obvious gawking.
I soon realized that in trying to manage these behaviors, I had begun to diminish myself. I avoided dressing a certain way to deter unwanted attention. I spoke less to avoid reprimand. But this wasn’t me. I’ve had managers in the past, both male and female, who valued my authenticity. I couldn’t continue sacrificing my identity to appease a broken system.
Lessons Learned: Empowerment Through Resilience
- Own Your Worth: It’s vital to acknowledge your talents and accomplishments, even when others seek to undermine them. Self-confidence is non-negotiable in environments that challenge your value.
- Set Boundaries: Speak up when something isn’t right. Whether it’s calling out unfair policies or addressing inappropriate behavior, standing firm in your values is crucial.
- Build Alliances: Find mentors, allies, and colleagues who will champion your growth. A strong support system can make all the difference when navigating hostile environments.
- Stay True to Yourself: Never dilute who you are to fit into others’ expectations. Authenticity is your greatest strength, and no workplace is worth losing it.
- Redefine Success: Sometimes success isn’t about staying in a toxic environment but about having the courage to leave. Recognize when a role no longer aligns with your well-being and move forward unapologetically.
Despite the challenges, I’ve learned that resilience, self-awareness, and the willingness to advocate for oneself are key to surviving and thriving in the workplace. These lessons remind me that while discrimination and hostility may persist, they don’t define me. What defines me is my ability to rise above them—time and time again.
To anyone facing similar struggles: remember, the path may be rocky, but your potential is limitless. Keep striving, keep standing tall, and never let the behavior of others dim your light. The journey may be hard, but the reward of staying true to yourself is worth every step.